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In My Nothingness By Sis Lei Marcelo

Some parts of the song, Let Her Go resonates with me as I make my reflection for this article. It goes this way, “But you only need the light when it's burning low. Only miss the sun when it starts to snow…” There is this a reality in our world that reveals us that not until we burn low, then we realize that we need some shade of light; not until we experience the freezing cold of snow we appreciate the presence of the sun; and not until we hit the rock bottom, then we realize how blessed we are. 

During my much younger years, we really strived for many things - for education, for the food that we are going to eat, for our daily expenses, and for a harmonious relationship in the family. It seemed like a long endless journey of always looking for a source to provide our needs. Looking back on how we have crossed and still crossing that, I can see that God never really left us empty. On the surface, it may seem that the world is turning its back on us, but it is only teaching us to look into the little miracles that are happening each day. In my case, it is my siblings who showed the shade of light that changed our lives. Their actions might be minuscule but it gave way to what we have now.


Not so long ago before I arrive here in Abu Dhabi, I was teaching in an exclusive school which pays more than the regular wage in the Philippines, I get to do what I love and I get to travel; I get to enjoy life (this doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy life here).  But I decided to let it go. My primary reason was, of course, for greener pasture; but most especially I want to leave the comfort of being in your own country, of being secured. Maybe because, in my subconscious mind, I know that Someone, a Higher Being, will pave the way. I gave up the security of receiving monthly income and of a family who I can easily run into in difficult times. I am not seeing it as testing God, rather, I find it as trusting God to work in my life -- and He did. I humbly submit to what life will throw at me. And as of now and I know will be forever, He is not letting me go, He is paving the way to where I needed to be. Now, I am going back to my profession, to the one I left before coming here - teaching. I am really praying that I will be doing what I needed to be doing.



This emphasizes another reality; God’s presence, most of the time is not grandeur. It is subtle as the water seeping through the soil to nourish the plants, it moves slowly and quietly. Until you realized that it already nourished what it needs to nourish. God’s grace is beyond comparison, I cannot compare it to the universe as to somehow I know the universe has its end. Maybe, a better comparison of God’s grace is that it is as glorious as His Son Jesus Christ. As what St. Paul had written, “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Because when you are burning low, when you are in the cold, and when you feel like hit rock bottom, God will meet your needs.

This was exactly what I recalled when we had our Chapter A2 Monthly Prayer Assembly last October 19, 2017 entitled “In My Nothingness” where I was one of the blessed sharers.

May God be praised!

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